Girl in the Green Dress

Girl in the green dress.

Once I was sittin' in the sidewalk, angry about one thing or another. I remember breathing with increased intensity at the  thought of the object of my rage. When upon me came a girl in a green dress, carrying a portable T.V. She sat beside me, and I tried to minimize the output of my rage. I stared into an empty wall and hoped  she would get a clue and leave. She just sat there, also staring into the wall. Without turning to face me she said, with the cleares voice I have since heard: - You can hide your thoughts from everyone else. You can keep even yourself out of the loop by staring at bricks and mortar. But not me.- Even as I realized she wasn't just any little girl, I took the time to scoff at such a boast: -Oh yeah?- I felt my  shoulder shake, like the wind just rattled me. I felt a dizz. I knew then It wasn't  right to challenge her. My mind raced. Without staring directly at her I tried to figure what she was. I turned my head and slowly watched her, expecting to find the answer. The only clue was the letters embroidered into her shirt "YHV". My mind had already thought of several mythological, and dare I say it, sci-fi explanations of whoever she might be, but I tried not to ask her those. -Are you frome some private school, or some...- I shook, worst than the first time. There were no words or vissions, but I felt it. The birth of our universe, the things we know as "casualty" and "luck", the energies we know and don't, her hand was behind it all. I was dumbstruck, and I nearly fell back. I must have stood there for 5 minutes, my mind a blank. Then I managed to speak back at her:-You...can't be...I mean a little girl, because-she looked as if she had heard it a million times, though she must have heard it even more. -"You can't"-she replied -is not the proper way to begin a conversation with me.- At this point, my lips were shaking so hard, It looked like they had a little engine in them. I could only utter in amazement -"Oh, my God..."-  She grinned a little -Why say that? Is God a property of yours? After all, If anything, the creator owns the creation. But it is your nature. You think you own God, shape God, name God and sell God. You frame God to within what you know, wich is really all you CAN do.- My mind went into wonder mode again, trying to figure what she was here for. Whas it my time to die? Was I about to pay for my sins? I mean, In all the religions I've studied, deities never come down, "just to chat". The theory of my incoming death took hold of my mind, but since everything  I had dared to say so far had been far from right I chose not to speak. She began again: -Oh, yes, your own mortality. And the question of where are you going after your life ends. What a puzzle to throw at someone, right? But that is not why I am here.- She said, raising her portable T.V. - I came here to show you a little movie- You can guess I was more than a little shocked at that sentence. -A movie?- I said- Why would you...- even without her saying it, I knew to stop at that question. -What sort of movie- I barely let out the words. -Well-she said-It's a movie about your life. I took all the moments you spent being mad about things, all the time you spent being angry, every single fight you have been in, and made it into a film. Do you have time?- -Why?- I replied, curious. - Because it's a really really REALLY long movie. Longer than you'd want a movie about such a topic to be.- I nodded, unable to say more. The movie begun. We passed "childhood" relatively fast, but in at about 13 years the movie became really slow. I felt like the plot needed defending, though, so I chimed in -Well, at that age...- I began. She was unmoved. The movie became a drag at about the time I began working.-Hey, it wasn't all my fault. That right there, she started it. And that part, I was right. It took us forever to get to me, staring at the blank wall, but by then I was highly defensive. -Why, you wanna send me to hell now, over some little fights? Everybody does it!- Her stare pierced through my eyes.- Wasn't that movie a little long? What do I care? I exist forever. But you, however don't. You don't have forever to live. I kindly suggest you employ more of your time on other things. Think back on the things you were fighting about in the movie. Are those things still important? Were they worth the time?- I thought on this. Some of the things I fought about WERE important, but a lot were material things. Most of them were already gone, and those that remained had long lost their importance. And the amount of effort spent AFTER the fight, analysing it and talking about it. I didn't answer, because I  knew the answer wasn't meant for her. It was meant for me. She got up. -Nice to spend time with you-she waved as she walked away. -Wait- I said, unable to let this strange moment go away with her -Where can I find you again?- I asked. I still had many questions. -Look for me in the eyes of the needy children, the worked-out mothers, the sad fathers. Look for me in the lonely, the desperate the hurt. When you find me in them, you will know what I want of you.- and she left. But I realized she had never arrived, and thus hadn't gone away. She doesn't stop or start. She is.